The Good, The Bad, & The Just Plain Stupid

In your travels, you'll probably find that crime doesn't pay... and furthermore, that it's a tough business, especially if you're stupid like some of these genuine, one of a kind idiots:


Just last year, an infamous (although humorous) story came out about the duct tape bandit, aka Kasey Kazee, and his misguided attempts to rob a liquor store. Lacking any other means to conceal his appearance, he of course opted for duct tape. As soon as he tried to rob the store, the owner, Bill Steele, chased him down with a baseball bat, tackled him and kept him there until the police arrived. Kazee said he had no recollection of the robbery, but was confirmed without a doubt to be the duct tape bandit. Well, if nothing else, he learned another use for tape- right? Right?

Even when you're already guilty in a trial, there are things that you should say and things that you shouldn't say. And then there are those things you really, really shouldn't say. That's the lesson in a nutshell that Dennis Newton, on trial for armed robbery, found out soon enough during his trial. Although Newton held up a pretty good argument throughout the session, that soon ended when the manager of the convenience store he robbed testified against him, saying he was the robber. Newton jumped up and shouted, "I should of blown your (bleepin') head off!" followed by a less pronounced, "If I'd been the one that was there..." After Newton's outburst, it took only 20 minutes to convict him and condemn him to a 30-year sentence. Again, there are things you should say and- well, you know.


So if ever you decide to turn to a life of crime, at least be smart about it! And if you get caught, don't blame us!




Dennis Newton trial taken from amusingfacts.com and Duct Tape Bandit taken from wsaz.com